I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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