David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
