Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
