i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
