Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Buhtt sex?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
