census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
