Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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