Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i want to swaddle you in tequila
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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