Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
