sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
