How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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