38 yer olds are good kisserssss
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
