Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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