Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
