do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
