It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
