I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I puked a lego.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
is it fun? or sober?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
