he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
