i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
