Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Randomize
