M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
