I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
