In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Sorry about my life...
We're too hungover to prance.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
