Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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