high people should be assigned attendants
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
