Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
