a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
