i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
