Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
