we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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