Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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