Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I want her autograph on my taint
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
