It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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