we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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