There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
