He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
