I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
