halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
