I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
