is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
This is classic penis vs brain.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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