i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
