Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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