I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
