One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
