I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
