Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
