I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The power of my boobs compel you
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
