Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
