My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
