I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
